It's almost 6 weeks into 2018, and obviously share the same sentiments as the rest of humanity about the pace at which 2018 seems to be moving (where does the time go, etc, etc).
Early this year, I sat and really reflected upon 2017 - the good, the bad and the ugly. By the end of last year I felt completely exhausted and burnt out. I believe this was a function of both external factors and my tendency to 'push' myself into being perfect in every aspect of my life (I'm not bragging by the way. I don't see this as a positive, at all!).
Also a major contributor to this feeling of overwhelm I lovingly refer to as my tendency to 'invite frustration' into my life.
How do I do this, you ask?
- by dwelling and ruminating on things, people, situations that anger/annoy/sadden me.
- by taking a very dramatic approach to the areas I would like to change in my life (I don't our house - we need to move! To Denmark! I don't like my career - I need to quit my job! Get involved in a start up! I feel stressed! I need to go into a cave for weeks and not talk).
You get the drift.
I find that each of these approaches invites frustration. It's certainly okay - and necessary - to self examine and make adjustments where necessary. I'm not advocating for accepting situations that are bad, staying in jobs that make us miserable, keeping engaging in stressful lifestyle activities because we think we 'have to'.
But the thing is, taking this approach makes me feel totally overwhelmed, freaked out and powerless. Because I can't quit my job and magically become a CEO at an innovate start up that saves the environment and baby whales and also let's its employees play ping pong in the middle of day whilst also providing free private health cover. In the same vein, I can't magically wave a magic wand and become someone who is always serene, zen, freshly meditated (is that even thing?) and walks through the world being mindful with each breath, taking in the beauty of each moment. I'm just not that guy (though certainly, that does sound nice).
So my approach to 2018 is to tweak and pivot. This approach has many names (e.g. tilting) and isn't new by any means. My focus is to make small, almost immeasurable daily movements or changes that feel like they are in the right direction, and trust that they will get me where I need to go. This provides a nice contract from the feeling that I need to fundamentally 'change', that there are some drastic adjustments standing between me and fulfilment or a meaningful life.
So for me, this looks like:
- meditating daily, and just stopping whenever I remember to take a few big, deep breathes and wiggle my toes.
- taking ten minutes each day to advance my career in the direction I'd like to take it. This has meant, for example, signing up for mentoring, entering a competition to write essays on smart cities, signing up for another three months of career coaching.
- doing things that I know ground me - reading, exercising.
- cracking some work practices which are a bit unhelpful - for example, not reading emails first thing in the morning, or reading but not responding to emails, asking people to come back into my office rather than letting them interrupt me when I'm in deep work.
They key is to keep it small. Not to make big, sweeping statements like " I NEVER miss a day of meditation" or "I ALWAYS check emails only once a day at midday'.
Because these big rules / statements also invite overwhelm and frustration.
I think the second key to tweaks and pivots is aligning them to something bigger (which, honestly, I'm still working on). But for now, it's just small tweaks and pivots towards things that feel good and progress me or stretch my limits a little.
