Let's do the time warp, again...

Time! When you think of all the sayings about time, it really does feel like a scarce commodity.

Time is getting away from me.

There's just not enough time.

I don't have time.

In the interest of saving time.

It's like this mysterious, fleeting thing, slipping away from us and evading us when we need it the most. Who ever feels like they have enough time?

The realisation I have (very slowly) drawn over the last few months is that time is ultimately created, and controlled, by me. Yes, I accept that there are 24 hours in each day (and thanks to all the meme creators who helpfully remind me that I have 'the same amount of hours in the day as Beyonce'), but really, beyond that, time is spent on what I choose. It's not a mystery. It doesn't 'get away' from me. It doesn't escape me. Whenever I feel as though there's not enough time, what is invariably happening is that I'm not spending time doing the things I love, or doing the things that will enrich my life in some way.

Gay Hendricks explores this in his excellent (but yes, a little wacky) book 'The Big Leap'. According to Hendricks what we should be doing is,  instead of viewing time in the Newtonian manner, viewing it in an "Einstein" or genius manner. The central tenant of Einstein time is that is we control our time and in doing so, control the things we spend our time doing and ultimately achieving. According to Hendricks, “You’re where time comes from.”

It's all very confronting, and at the same time, very empowering. To view time as something that is created, and controlled, within us, rather than this elusive and all-too-scarce resource. I had a moment considering this last week when undertaking some time management training, which reinforced this idea and used Eisenhower's urgent / important matrix to show where we should be allocating our time.  It gave me pause to consider how much time I really spend:

• procrastinating (social media? Hilarious internet cats? I'm looking at you)
• worrying (did I turn the iron off? Am I going to be late? I have to get there!)
• frantically rushing to other people's deadlines and timelines (just because people tell you it's urgent, doesn't necessarily mean that it's true)
• doing things that simply don't matter (endless loads of washing, stacking the dishwasher, re-sorting my socks)

The really interesting thing about this is that, even with all this time 'wasted', I am still pretty efficient and super productive. So, if I spent less time doing these sort of things, what could I be achieving with those additional hours in the day?

With all this in mind, I've decided to take back control of my time, and to that end (and as part of time management training that I am doing through work) downloaded the app Hours Keeper, which I'll be using from tomorrow. Guess it's time to find out exactly how much of my life is dedicated to buzzfeed quizzes....  

Some wise words from a wise people (no gold, frankincense and myrrh though)

My oldest and dearest friend shared a piece of insight with me the other day.

Let me set the scene - me, completely frazzled, having an exhausting week, freaking out. I call him up in anticipation of a very difficult conversation that I am about to have at work which I've been dreading (think sleepless nights, tears). As I'm muttering incoherent nonsense down the phone about how it's all too much, he said 'do you know what I've realised about work? You don't have to care about it. You do have a duty of care, yes, but you don't have to actually CARE'.

So true. Although I'm generally pretty good at 'switching off' when I leave work, I do often find myself thinking about work outside work hours (in a very non-mindful way too, mostly stressing about stuff to come and worrying about what has already happened).

Off the back of this pearler, another professional acquaintance and I caught up for a coffee the other day. We were chatting about work stuff, and I was commenting on how down people in my office were at the moment, and how I felt as though I was constantly issuing words of advice or comfort, and she said 'Ah! But there are no prizes for trying to fix every thing for every one. No one will thank you for it'.

Again. Wise. What I've taken from this is that I need to care less. I don't mean callous disregard for others and their feelings, but just to put a barrier between myself and issues that come up. I find that I am constantly anxious and taking stuff on when, really, I have no bandwidth left.

The final piece of the puzzle came from Naomi Simson, the founder of Red Balloon. She spoke at a breakfast I attended the other day, and shared this insight (in reference to an earlier job of hers at IBM in New York). She talks about how she had to work one weekend which, incidentally, was the same weekend a dear friend was flying around the world to visit her. She recalls having a debate about whether to attend to the work stuff (which by all accounts, was important), or to spend time with her friend. She said that in the end, she realised that her employers, years and months on, would never remember whether she showed up that weekend or not. They may be annoyed that she didn't work, but ultimately, they would forget. So she chose to spend time with her friend, who valued her time and energy far greater, and created memories that they would share for decades to come.

So this all boils down to this - really, if I am going to give so much of myself to people and matters, it should be the people and matters I choose, not just the stuff that gets my attention first. I would much prefer to give the problem solving, caring, energy to the people and projects that actually energise me, not exhaust me (and exhausted pretty much sums up how I feel at work at the moment).

It seems so simple, I really do wonder why it took me so long to figure it out.

Have a great week.