One of the wonderful things of living in a politically stable, wealthy first world society is the fact that most people (this is a generalisation, of course) don't need to spend a great deal of time worrying about how to obtain life's basics - food, water and shelter. Rather, we tend to spend our time aiming for higher level achievements - promotions at work, starting small businesses, pursuing creative interests.
To this end, one of the concepts that has firmly entered the zeitgeist as we have become more and more privileged is the idea of limitlessness. You can do anything! Believe in yourself! Anything is possible!
Of course, this is fantastic on many levels - there's something to be said for self belief and determination and undoubtedly, that has led to more and more positive developments in our society as people are empowered by their own abilities to make a difference. Bravo, I say.
But on the downside, this way of thinking can lead to some pretty depressing consequences at times. When we are surrounded by messaging that tells us we can do anything, there's a nagging - and persistent - voice for many that insistently whispers 'you can do anything with your life - and you're doing this? Why aren't you finishing that novel / starting that organic skin care business / developing a cure for cancer?'
Perhaps my inner brain is more critical than other peoples' (let's not open that can of worms!), but it's a trap that I think many people fall into and I'm certainly no exception. There can be a real feeling of failure and disappointment when you're reading inspiring stories about people who follow their dreams. Yes, those people are amazing, and for the most part, inspiring, but if you happen to reflect about these inspiring stories at a time when you're feeling hollow in your job or other aspect of your life, it can leave you feeling like you're not good enough. Alain de Botton touches on this in his excellent Ted talk. He talks about contemplating life on a Sunday evenings, where the gap between your hopes and dreams for your life and your reality seems insurmountable. The upshot of this is that we are left shaking our heads, wondering what went wrong and why you couldn't achieve all those things that you once set out to.
The other aspect (again, see the Ted talk) of our 'you can do anything society' is the implication that we can all do anything we set our minds to, and ergo, those who are living in poverty or hardship are somehow complicit in their failure - because, hey, if they'd followed their dreams and never quit, surely they would be super rich, and successful, right?
Because all it takes is determination...
So what's the upshot of all this? I'm not suggesting we shoot for the middle so that we avoid feelings of disappointment. I (for the most part) completely agree with self determination and the thought that a little tenacity and hard work can get you a long way. But there's a difference between dreaming big and beating yourself up for failures - perceived or otherwise. Maybe, when the gap between your reality and dreams seems huge, instead of thinking about how big the gap is, think about how far you've already come. I'd wager a guess that thinking about all the achievements in your life will give you far more inspiration than you thought.
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