Have you ever heard of a nectar list? It's like a challenge to the bucket list. Rather than setting goals and achieving challenges, it's all about acknowledging what you HAVE - the 'nectar' of your existence thus far. A brilliant idea, one I first read about in women's health magazine, but I believe ultimately coined by Huffington Post
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sierra-vandervort/the-nectar-list_b_5753464.html
So. Here's my nectar list for 2014.
1. I've purchased two houses
2. I've reduced my alcohol intake by more than half.
3. I've done my first hip hop yoga class (and many more since).
4. I've married the love of my life.
5. I've ran around Hoan Kiem lake with my friends and written funny post it notes over Vietnamese iced coffee in Hanoi
6. I've changed jobs and found an incredibly interesting / challenging position.
7. I've attended three beautiful weddings.
8. I've eaten at Tetsuya's.
9. I've started the foundations of my own business with my best friend.
10. I've swam in the glorious Maldives.
11. I've eaten fabulous tapas in Barcelona and strolled the streets of this gorgeous city.
12. I've visited - and loved - Hobart. For the first time.
13. I've been spoiled rotten and inspired by my beautiful friends over a weekend in Sorrento.
14. I've written off a car ( a first, hopefully a last).
15. I've attended the 80th of my stoic, loving grandmother.
16. I've eaten at Messina.
17. I've done by 5 km PB.
18. I've seen Wicked for the second time.
19. Michael and I have welcomed our first nephew into the world.
20. I've shopped up a storm in Kualan Lumpur.
21. I've cleared 7 years of clutter and junk away.
22. I've seen my favourite band - The National - in concert.
And I'm not even sure it's the half of it. Pictures to follow!
Thanks 2014. You've been bonza.
Showing posts with label See. Show all posts
Showing posts with label See. Show all posts
Wednesday, 17 December 2014
Tuesday, 9 December 2014
She was a one eyed, one horned, flying purple people pleaser.
The concept of addiction is all around us. People for centuries have been addicted to alcohol and drugs. The concept of addiction has now stretched into our modern world - we can be addicted to social media, addicted to technology, addicted to sex.
But what about the more subtle and subconscious addictions that can manifest without you even realising? These can go months, years, even a whole lifetime without ever being recognised, named, and 'treated'. They might impact your health and happiness in ways that you can't articulate and may never even notice, and you might go through life feeling stuck or not quite right in some aspect of your life.
My addiction? People pleasing.
Yeah. Weird, right?
It started long before I was an adult for reasons I won't get into here, but suffice to say, it's been evident for most of my life. Being perfect, getting the tick of approval, always being there to offer a solution or assistance to anyone, making sure I worry about everything else and everyone else.
Not such a bad thing on the face of it. I mean, what's wrong with wanting to be liked? What's wrong with wanting to help others? Especially when those people are the people close to you - people you'd go to the ends of the earth for, or even watch an Adam Sandler film with.
Nothing, on the face of it. Just as drugs and alcohol aren't problematic, in and of themselves. That's the thing with addiction - it only a problem when it becomes a problem, right?
For me, being a little purple people pleaser has manifested itself in some less than ideal behaviours for me. The perception of being perfect, capable of anything. The fear of asking for help or showing vulnerability. The stress when someone has a problem or issue that I can't fix. The exhaustion of trying to be 'all things to all people' (a concept that anyone who has read the excellent Rushing Woman's Syndrome by Dr Libby Weaver will be familiar with).
This year has really brought this to the fore for me and I can see it causing damage. I'll get into that in a later post. So how to tackle any addiction?
Action plan - to break the cycle of habit. For the next two weeks, I will:
- Put a buffer between being asked to do something and responding
- Asking for help (I will be writing a list tomorrow of all the things I am going to ask for help with)
- Starting to accept help where it is offered to me
Bananas, right? All seems pretty intuitive, right? Well, not for this little purple people pleaser. It's gonna be hard. Here goes....
But what about the more subtle and subconscious addictions that can manifest without you even realising? These can go months, years, even a whole lifetime without ever being recognised, named, and 'treated'. They might impact your health and happiness in ways that you can't articulate and may never even notice, and you might go through life feeling stuck or not quite right in some aspect of your life.
My addiction? People pleasing.
Yeah. Weird, right?
It started long before I was an adult for reasons I won't get into here, but suffice to say, it's been evident for most of my life. Being perfect, getting the tick of approval, always being there to offer a solution or assistance to anyone, making sure I worry about everything else and everyone else.
Not such a bad thing on the face of it. I mean, what's wrong with wanting to be liked? What's wrong with wanting to help others? Especially when those people are the people close to you - people you'd go to the ends of the earth for, or even watch an Adam Sandler film with.
Nothing, on the face of it. Just as drugs and alcohol aren't problematic, in and of themselves. That's the thing with addiction - it only a problem when it becomes a problem, right?
For me, being a little purple people pleaser has manifested itself in some less than ideal behaviours for me. The perception of being perfect, capable of anything. The fear of asking for help or showing vulnerability. The stress when someone has a problem or issue that I can't fix. The exhaustion of trying to be 'all things to all people' (a concept that anyone who has read the excellent Rushing Woman's Syndrome by Dr Libby Weaver will be familiar with).
This year has really brought this to the fore for me and I can see it causing damage. I'll get into that in a later post. So how to tackle any addiction?
Action plan - to break the cycle of habit. For the next two weeks, I will:
- Put a buffer between being asked to do something and responding
- Asking for help (I will be writing a list tomorrow of all the things I am going to ask for help with)
- Starting to accept help where it is offered to me
Bananas, right? All seems pretty intuitive, right? Well, not for this little purple people pleaser. It's gonna be hard. Here goes....
Monday, 17 November 2014
Friendship
This weekend, my best friend, who I have lived with for ten years, moves out.
Although this isn't sudden, I think it's the first time I've contemplated it fully.
Allow me to explain.
My best friend and I went to high school together. A couple of years after high school, we both moved to the city - me for university, and him for new career opportunities. For many years, we had talked about how cool our share house in Perth would be. It was our dream. Eating Red Rooster, watching Smack The Pony. Wielding our fake IDs at Rosie O'Grady's. Sitting around our kitchen table which would double as a fish tank. Yeah, we were cool.
In Perth, we lived with others - some very dear friends. Years on, as I neared the end of my law degree, my best friend (yeah, I'm going to go ahead and call him my BFF) announced that he was moving to Melbourne. I also decided to move to Melbourne at the end of my degree (now, before you write me off as a bunny boiler, I moved at a time that maybe 5 or 6 other people in our circle of friends moved as well. At that time, unless you had a degree in engineering or some other mining-centric field, jobs were thin on the ground).
So we moved to Melbourne and share housed with another amazing friend. The three of us eventually moved to a house that I bought. The amazing friend moved back to Perth to be with a partner, my BFF and I eventually found partners of our own. Both of them moved in. So the four of us, plus our dogs, have been living in our happy, slightly weird, urbane family. Until now. Since the beloved and I announced our engagement, my BFF and his BF have made plans to get their own place.
Now, I know that anyone reading this may think "what's the big deal? It's not like he's moving to Pakistan! It's not like he is her BOYFRIEND". These are points that many, many others have made to me. And I agree!! At least in the logical, sensible part of my brain. The part which organises tax returns and peels stickers off fruit BEFORE eating.
But that part of my brain doesn't always prevail, and you guys, the crazy, emotional, Oprah watching brain has kicked in. When you live with someone for that long - platonically, romantically, whatever - well, they become your family. You start to know everything about that person. You start, in some ways, to emulate that person in ways that you don't even recognise. You seek their counsel on everything. You cry to them when there's no more wine in the fridge. You yell at them when they delete your Law and Order from the Foxtel planner. You ask them to console you after another evening of regrettable lady-man liaisons with ill advised suitors. And they do. With aplomb.
Most of all, you love them and you think they are the best person in the world for hanging about for ten years putting up with your bullshit.
Don't get me wrong - I understand that change is a fact of life. I know that this is a fabulous milestone for Michael and I (it's hard to believe that we have never lived together alone in our relationship and I'm looking forward to that). I know I'll see my BFF all the time (we are planning on starting a business together so he's my business partner and will be my office bee-yatch very soon, I hope).
I'm just sad because I'll miss my best friend. I'm sad because in the ten years that we've lived together I never once stopped to think "hey, moron, this might not last forever, so cherish it while you've got it and stop getting pissed at the guy because he beat you at trivial pursuit again."
So. There you go. If you'll excuse me, I need to go and see if my BFF is free to watch some Smack The Pony.
Although this isn't sudden, I think it's the first time I've contemplated it fully.
Allow me to explain.
My best friend and I went to high school together. A couple of years after high school, we both moved to the city - me for university, and him for new career opportunities. For many years, we had talked about how cool our share house in Perth would be. It was our dream. Eating Red Rooster, watching Smack The Pony. Wielding our fake IDs at Rosie O'Grady's. Sitting around our kitchen table which would double as a fish tank. Yeah, we were cool.
In Perth, we lived with others - some very dear friends. Years on, as I neared the end of my law degree, my best friend (yeah, I'm going to go ahead and call him my BFF) announced that he was moving to Melbourne. I also decided to move to Melbourne at the end of my degree (now, before you write me off as a bunny boiler, I moved at a time that maybe 5 or 6 other people in our circle of friends moved as well. At that time, unless you had a degree in engineering or some other mining-centric field, jobs were thin on the ground).
So we moved to Melbourne and share housed with another amazing friend. The three of us eventually moved to a house that I bought. The amazing friend moved back to Perth to be with a partner, my BFF and I eventually found partners of our own. Both of them moved in. So the four of us, plus our dogs, have been living in our happy, slightly weird, urbane family. Until now. Since the beloved and I announced our engagement, my BFF and his BF have made plans to get their own place.
Now, I know that anyone reading this may think "what's the big deal? It's not like he's moving to Pakistan! It's not like he is her BOYFRIEND". These are points that many, many others have made to me. And I agree!! At least in the logical, sensible part of my brain. The part which organises tax returns and peels stickers off fruit BEFORE eating.
But that part of my brain doesn't always prevail, and you guys, the crazy, emotional, Oprah watching brain has kicked in. When you live with someone for that long - platonically, romantically, whatever - well, they become your family. You start to know everything about that person. You start, in some ways, to emulate that person in ways that you don't even recognise. You seek their counsel on everything. You cry to them when there's no more wine in the fridge. You yell at them when they delete your Law and Order from the Foxtel planner. You ask them to console you after another evening of regrettable lady-man liaisons with ill advised suitors. And they do. With aplomb.
Most of all, you love them and you think they are the best person in the world for hanging about for ten years putting up with your bullshit.
Don't get me wrong - I understand that change is a fact of life. I know that this is a fabulous milestone for Michael and I (it's hard to believe that we have never lived together alone in our relationship and I'm looking forward to that). I know I'll see my BFF all the time (we are planning on starting a business together so he's my business partner and will be my office bee-yatch very soon, I hope).
I'm just sad because I'll miss my best friend. I'm sad because in the ten years that we've lived together I never once stopped to think "hey, moron, this might not last forever, so cherish it while you've got it and stop getting pissed at the guy because he beat you at trivial pursuit again."
So. There you go. If you'll excuse me, I need to go and see if my BFF is free to watch some Smack The Pony.
Thursday, 14 February 2013
Please stop burning that money in pocket, it hurts.
Oh hai, there online shopping world. Didn't notice you there...
LIES.
There's nothing quite like running into the Australia Post delivery man and having him squeal SO MANY PARCELS, CRAZY LADY AT NUMBER 52 to make you realise that a check in to the rehabilatory Tom Ford Clinic might be imminent. I like to pretend that he knows me only because it's a small street (it's not) and/or some of the parcels are for my boyfriend or flatmate or dogs (they're not).
Nonetheless, I am buying Very Important Things which fulfil my ongoing resolution to buy quality over quantity. So, in the interests of assuaging my guilt and sharing with you the products of my downsizing wallet but bulging wardrobe, here are some of my online picks:
Nordic Fusion clogs, which just make your little heart and feet and toes sing with all their cuteness and shininess. I chose patent fuschia for me and red patent for my mum as a gift (a mother daughter shoe team, the foot equivalent of Motherboy from Arrested Development). Here is a picture of them on my feet, and as you can tell, both the feet and the shoes are having a Nice Time. You can't tell from the angle, but the shoes are acutally smiling up at me, saying 'thank you for buying us'. Well, that's I what like to think, anyways. You're welcome, shoes. So welcome.
Incidentally, you can also buy these puppies at Urban Jungle in Prahran, which might actually be the sweetest store on Greville Street (running in hot competition with The Lunar Store).
Now, where was I? Yes, make up. Now, some (everyone) might say that I already have ample make up stocks however I am going on a three and a half month holiday and am supposed to be 'packing light' (the apostrophes reflect that I don't really understand what this term means. If you imagine your grandmother saying 'LOL' and you'll know what I mean). Since the new NARS palette - aptly titled 'The Happening' includes bronzer, blush and eye shadow fun, I thought it fit the bill. I got mine from Kiss and Make Up because I am too lazy to go to the shops (but just energetic enough to take deliveries of packages at my front door step), but you can also get it in store at the lovely Mecca Cosmetica
I've developed a mild but very healthy obsession with Pop Basic which offers collections (I'm still waiting for my beta collection, ahhh) of basics and little treats (the first was a polka dot blouse and two necklaces - I'll put photos up soon). I think - am speculating based on things I've seen on Stalkbook - that the next 'basic' will be a breton top in which case I might just lose my mind and need to have a wee nap whilst the party rages around me.
So that's me. If anyone has any tips on this 'packing light' business, please send them my way. My imaginary suitcase is a unhappy mess of three blazers, 9 'basic' tee shirts, 4 perfume bottles and a small parliament of owls, so I really do need some assistance.
LIES.
There's nothing quite like running into the Australia Post delivery man and having him squeal SO MANY PARCELS, CRAZY LADY AT NUMBER 52 to make you realise that a check in to the rehabilatory Tom Ford Clinic might be imminent. I like to pretend that he knows me only because it's a small street (it's not) and/or some of the parcels are for my boyfriend or flatmate or dogs (they're not).
Nonetheless, I am buying Very Important Things which fulfil my ongoing resolution to buy quality over quantity. So, in the interests of assuaging my guilt and sharing with you the products of my downsizing wallet but bulging wardrobe, here are some of my online picks:
Nordic Fusion clogs, which just make your little heart and feet and toes sing with all their cuteness and shininess. I chose patent fuschia for me and red patent for my mum as a gift (a mother daughter shoe team, the foot equivalent of Motherboy from Arrested Development). Here is a picture of them on my feet, and as you can tell, both the feet and the shoes are having a Nice Time. You can't tell from the angle, but the shoes are acutally smiling up at me, saying 'thank you for buying us'. Well, that's I what like to think, anyways. You're welcome, shoes. So welcome.
Incidentally, you can also buy these puppies at Urban Jungle in Prahran, which might actually be the sweetest store on Greville Street (running in hot competition with The Lunar Store).
Now, where was I? Yes, make up. Now, some (everyone) might say that I already have ample make up stocks however I am going on a three and a half month holiday and am supposed to be 'packing light' (the apostrophes reflect that I don't really understand what this term means. If you imagine your grandmother saying 'LOL' and you'll know what I mean). Since the new NARS palette - aptly titled 'The Happening' includes bronzer, blush and eye shadow fun, I thought it fit the bill. I got mine from Kiss and Make Up because I am too lazy to go to the shops (but just energetic enough to take deliveries of packages at my front door step), but you can also get it in store at the lovely Mecca Cosmetica
I've developed a mild but very healthy obsession with Pop Basic which offers collections (I'm still waiting for my beta collection, ahhh) of basics and little treats (the first was a polka dot blouse and two necklaces - I'll put photos up soon). I think - am speculating based on things I've seen on Stalkbook - that the next 'basic' will be a breton top in which case I might just lose my mind and need to have a wee nap whilst the party rages around me.
So that's me. If anyone has any tips on this 'packing light' business, please send them my way. My imaginary suitcase is a unhappy mess of three blazers, 9 'basic' tee shirts, 4 perfume bottles and a small parliament of owls, so I really do need some assistance.
Tuesday, 18 December 2012
A fake country mouse in the Yarra Valley
Although firmly a city mouse (find me a small town where you can get karaoke and dumplings after midnight...), in 2012 I embraced several opportunities to explore the country side around the Yarra Valley. I've always wanted to be one of those people who beholds the country air, who takes weekends away to replenish and restore (and no, that's completely separate and nothing to do with my aforementioned vices of karaoke and dumplings).
I've been to the Yarra Valley many times in my 6 years in Melbourne, but it would be a bit remiss of me not to disclose that the purpose of those visits was the unbridled consumption of Yarra Valley wine. I SUPPORT LOCAL INDUSTRY.
But alas, 2012 must have been the year that nature has resonated with me and I found myself doing some lovely country walks and exploring other things around the area...
Hazeldene Manor, visited by moi for hen's weekend. This place was gorgeous and so peaceful, save for my screaming "IT'S GORGEOUS! AND SO PEACEFUL!" for the duration of the weekend away.
And some other non-winey favourites around the area...
Yarra Valley Dairy , which offers some pretty divine cheese. True story - a couple I know once went away for an anniversary and decided to skip dinner and just eat cheese and goodies from this place for sustenance. Of course, I couldn't possibly disclose their identities but I can tell you that I loved their terrine and I think my boyfriend ate a whole block of the goats cheese in ash.
Tarrawarra Museum of Art has culture. ALL OF THE CULTURE. Featuring some pretty fanastic modern art, its design also won Alan Powell the Premier's Design Award in 2004.
Badger Creek Blueberry Farm just because 1) I enjoy blueberries and 2) I enjoy blueberries.
I've been to the Yarra Valley many times in my 6 years in Melbourne, but it would be a bit remiss of me not to disclose that the purpose of those visits was the unbridled consumption of Yarra Valley wine. I SUPPORT LOCAL INDUSTRY.
But alas, 2012 must have been the year that nature has resonated with me and I found myself doing some lovely country walks and exploring other things around the area...
Photos from a hike (ok, walk. OKAY! STROLL!) around Badger Weir. Now, I wouldn't want you to think that I am just some idiot with an instagram account who is always spoiling opportune moments by whipping out her iPhone, but alas, it's true and it's best that we are honest with each other about my shortcomings.
Just a beautiful autumnal tree near St Hubert's Winery, who do a delicious Chardonnay, by the way (haha! I said visiting the Yarra Valley wasn't always about wine! I LIED!)
Hazeldene Manor, visited by moi for hen's weekend. This place was gorgeous and so peaceful, save for my screaming "IT'S GORGEOUS! AND SO PEACEFUL!" for the duration of the weekend away.
And some other non-winey favourites around the area...
Yarra Valley Dairy , which offers some pretty divine cheese. True story - a couple I know once went away for an anniversary and decided to skip dinner and just eat cheese and goodies from this place for sustenance. Of course, I couldn't possibly disclose their identities but I can tell you that I loved their terrine and I think my boyfriend ate a whole block of the goats cheese in ash.
Tarrawarra Museum of Art has culture. ALL OF THE CULTURE. Featuring some pretty fanastic modern art, its design also won Alan Powell the Premier's Design Award in 2004.
Badger Creek Blueberry Farm just because 1) I enjoy blueberries and 2) I enjoy blueberries.
Wednesday, 12 December 2012
Sometimes, I just like to eat ALL OF THE THAI FOOD
I'm always on the look out (stalk? No, we'll say 'look out'. Sounds nicer) for great Thai or Vietnamese restaurants. I particularly love those that avoid daggy decorations (I'm looking at you, fake ivy and menus with pictures of the food) or unflattering fluorescent lighting (because sometimes, it's nice to enjoy a meal with your friends without looking like a sallow-skinned heroin addict).
We spotted The Thai on Chapel a few weeks ago and since then, I haveincessantly pestered in a manner that would put Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka to shame asked my boyfriend to take me. Of course, being a modern dame, I am perfectly capable of taking myself but showing up with a bottle of wine for just one person tends to attract the wrong kind of attention.
Now, by way of warning, it does not have a liquor licence. Well not yet, anyway. So if you happen to show up on a Friday evening with a bottle of Riesling in tow then you will have to just drink it in the park later on after you've finished your meal.
This place is cute as button. The decor is adorable. The staff are gorgeous. Seriously. I wanted to eat the whole evening up with spoon. Servings are on the small side but are more adventurous than bog standard pad thai offerings. And it's cheap SO YOU CAN JUST KEEP ORDERING FOOD FOREVER.
I'm hoping that they get a liquor licence soon, because I really want to take my friends there. I don't want to suggest that they are all raging alcoholics (OK, I do, but let's pretend I dont), but I think it's just the perfect place for a very casual weekend dinner. It's at 76 Chapel Street (down the Windsor end) and you can see other people getting excited about it here.
We spotted The Thai on Chapel a few weeks ago and since then, I have
Now, by way of warning, it does not have a liquor licence. Well not yet, anyway. So if you happen to show up on a Friday evening with a bottle of Riesling in tow then you will have to just drink it in the park later on after you've finished your meal.
This place is cute as button. The decor is adorable. The staff are gorgeous. Seriously. I wanted to eat the whole evening up with spoon. Servings are on the small side but are more adventurous than bog standard pad thai offerings. And it's cheap SO YOU CAN JUST KEEP ORDERING FOOD FOREVER.
I'm hoping that they get a liquor licence soon, because I really want to take my friends there. I don't want to suggest that they are all raging alcoholics (OK, I do, but let's pretend I dont), but I think it's just the perfect place for a very casual weekend dinner. It's at 76 Chapel Street (down the Windsor end) and you can see other people getting excited about it here.
Monday, 10 December 2012
So I went on a plane and forgot to pack enough clothes. Oops, etc
So I have tagged this post as 'see', though perhaps it should be more aptly tagged 'buy'... You see, I am on holiday in Perth. Living in Melbourne, I was not prepared for, oh, consecutive days of 35 degree heat.
I used to live in Perth and am somewhat (happily) surprised when I return to find little boutiques, bars and cafes opening up. In Mount Hawthorn I discovered The Annex....
In the interests of not melting into a puddle in manner of the Wicked Witch of The West, I indulged with summery options. Yes! I need these if I am to survive! AND I walked away from a pair of Dita sunglasses which framed my round, slightly sunburnt face. WITNESS THE RESTRAINT!
For Perth dames, The Annex is at 145 Scarborough Beach Road, Mt Hawthorn.
I used to live in Perth and am somewhat (happily) surprised when I return to find little boutiques, bars and cafes opening up. In Mount Hawthorn I discovered The Annex....
In the interests of not melting into a puddle in manner of the Wicked Witch of The West, I indulged with summery options. Yes! I need these if I am to survive! AND I walked away from a pair of Dita sunglasses which framed my round, slightly sunburnt face. WITNESS THE RESTRAINT!
For Perth dames, The Annex is at 145 Scarborough Beach Road, Mt Hawthorn.
Tuesday, 4 December 2012
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)