Sweet sweet nectar

Have you ever heard of a nectar list? It's like a challenge to the bucket list. Rather than setting goals and achieving challenges, it's all about acknowledging what you HAVE - the 'nectar' of your existence thus far. A brilliant idea, one I first read about in women's health magazine, but I believe ultimately coined by Huffington Post

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sierra-vandervort/the-nectar-list_b_5753464.html

So. Here's my nectar list for 2014.

1. I've purchased two houses
2. I've reduced my alcohol intake by more than half.
3. I've done my first hip hop yoga class (and many more since).
4. I've married the love of my life.
5. I've ran around Hoan Kiem lake with my friends and written funny post it notes over Vietnamese iced coffee in Hanoi
6. I've changed jobs and found an incredibly interesting / challenging position.
7. I've attended three beautiful weddings.
8. I've eaten at Tetsuya's.
9. I've started the foundations of my own business with my best friend.
10. I've swam in the glorious Maldives.
11. I've eaten fabulous tapas in Barcelona and strolled the streets of this gorgeous city.
12. I've visited - and loved - Hobart. For the first time.
13. I've been spoiled rotten and inspired by my beautiful friends over a weekend in Sorrento.
14. I've written off a car ( a first, hopefully a last).
15. I've attended the 80th of my stoic, loving grandmother.
16. I've eaten at Messina.
17. I've done by 5 km PB.
18. I've seen Wicked for the second time.
19. Michael and I have welcomed our first nephew into the world.
20. I've shopped up a storm in Kualan Lumpur.
21. I've cleared 7 years of clutter and junk away.
22. I've seen my favourite band - The National - in concert.


And I'm not even sure it's the half of it. Pictures to follow!

Thanks 2014. You've been bonza.

Shoot that poison apple through my heart.... no, wait. File that poison apple away for later.

We all know that feeling right? You're stressed. You feel like you're being jolted from one thing to another and it seems never ending and you feel like you don't have a second to yourself and DAMMIT you just feel overwhelmed.

And then.

Just when you think you're at breaking point it hits.

A nasty rebuke from your boss.
A snarky email from a friend / partner  / family member.
A rude stranger on the train.
An unhelpful person in your professional life.

BAM.

It's on. You're indignant. You're furious. You're enraged. You think 'HOW FUCKING DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME CAN'T YOU SEE I'M UP TO MY EYEBALLS / ABOUT TO POP  / CRAZY STRESSED, DON'T YOU SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO ME YOU INSUFFERABLE BUFFOON WHY IS THE WORLD SO UNKIND ETCETERA'.

I like to call these little babies 'poison apples'. A psychologist coined this little anecdote for me years ago. He may have gotten it from somewhere else, hell, it may be a known turn of phrase in psychological circles (though the internet doesn't seem to think so, I checked).

These things come up in life, yes, when you're stressed, yes, when you think you can't handle anything more happening in your life, and yes, when things going wrong. Sometimes they are malicious. But most often, they aren't (because they can't see. They don't know. They didn't realise the world was being so unkind to you).

I used to complain bitterly to my psychologist about things that people did that I perceived as unkind / unfair / downright wrong. On and on I would go, decrying other people's deplorable behaviour and the negative impact it had on me.

So here's what he said (and I'm paraphrasing here):

These things  that people say and do to you are like poison apples. They are bad for you, undoubtedly. The are nasty to receive. They might even be given by someone who KNOWS that the apple is poisonous. But you are the one who chooses to eat the apple. You are the one taking the first bite. You could give the apple back. You could put the apple in the bin. You could even put the apple aside until later and decide what to do with it at a later time. 

Food for thought, isn't it (haha, apple, haha, food). I was forced to think about this today, as I received a rather unpleasant email from a friend. I honestly thought I was seconds away from losing at her, ending our friendship, telling her what an idiot she was being.

But then, I remembered this analogy. Sure, I was angry. Sure,  I had a massive rant to my husband. Sure, I was upset. But after I gathered my rage, I filed the email away in  my 'personal' file and thought - yeah, with everything I've got on my plate at the moment, I'm just going to have to put that poison apple away and decide how to deal with it later. I don't have to take a bite, and if I do, I'm not sure I'll like to outcome.

As an aside, my friend sent me an email before I'd had a chance to respond the original, saying that she was sorry and regretted sending it. By then, my head was clearer. Not only was I less angry, but I was more equipped to get to the root cause of her original email - are you angry at me? is something personal going on with you? how can we fix this? or are you just having a shitty day, like I am? 

Do you ever feel like someone is handing you a poison apple and you have to take a bite and react NOW?

image from illeander.deviantart.com

A fake country mouse in the Yarra Valley

Although firmly a city mouse (find me a small town where you can get karaoke and dumplings after midnight...), in 2012 I embraced several opportunities to explore the country side around the Yarra Valley. I've always wanted to be one of those people who beholds the country air, who takes weekends away to replenish and restore (and no, that's completely separate and nothing to do with my aforementioned vices of karaoke and dumplings).

I've been to the Yarra Valley many times in my 6 years in Melbourne, but it would be a bit remiss of me not to disclose that the purpose of those visits was the unbridled consumption of Yarra Valley wine. I SUPPORT LOCAL INDUSTRY.

But alas, 2012 must have been the year that nature has resonated with me and I found myself doing some lovely country walks and exploring other things around the area...

Photos from a hike (ok, walk. OKAY! STROLL!) around Badger Weir. Now, I wouldn't want you to think that I am just some idiot with an instagram account who is always spoiling opportune moments by whipping out her iPhone, but alas, it's true and it's best that we are honest with each other about my shortcomings.

Just a beautiful autumnal tree near St Hubert's Winery, who do a delicious Chardonnay, by the way (haha! I said visiting the Yarra Valley wasn't always about wine! I LIED!)

Hazeldene Manor, visited by moi for hen's weekend. This place was gorgeous and so peaceful, save for my screaming "IT'S GORGEOUS! AND SO PEACEFUL!" for the duration of the weekend away.

And some other non-winey favourites around the area...

Yarra Valley Dairy , which offers some pretty divine cheese. True story - a couple I know once went away for an anniversary and decided to skip dinner and just eat cheese and goodies from this place for sustenance. Of course, I couldn't possibly disclose their identities but I can tell you that I loved their terrine and I think my boyfriend ate a whole block of the goats cheese in ash.

Tarrawarra Museum of Art has culture. ALL OF THE CULTURE. Featuring some pretty fanastic modern art, its design also won Alan Powell the Premier's Design Award in 2004.

Badger Creek Blueberry Farm just because 1) I enjoy blueberries and 2) I enjoy blueberries.

Sometimes, I just like to eat ALL OF THE THAI FOOD

I'm always on the look out (stalk? No, we'll say 'look out'. Sounds nicer) for great Thai or Vietnamese restaurants. I particularly love those that avoid daggy decorations (I'm looking at you, fake ivy and menus with pictures of the food) or unflattering fluorescent lighting (because sometimes, it's nice to enjoy a meal with your friends without looking like a sallow-skinned heroin addict).

We spotted The Thai on Chapel a few weeks ago and since then, I have incessantly pestered in a manner that would put Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka to shame asked my boyfriend to take me. Of course, being a modern dame, I am perfectly capable of taking myself but showing up with a bottle of wine for just one person tends to attract the wrong kind of attention.

Now, by way of warning, it does not have a liquor licence. Well not yet, anyway. So if you happen to show up on a Friday evening with a bottle of Riesling in tow then you will have to just drink it in the park later on after you've finished your meal. 

This place is cute as button. The decor is adorable. The staff are gorgeous. Seriously. I wanted to eat the whole evening up with spoon. Servings are on the small side but are more adventurous than bog standard pad thai offerings. And it's cheap SO YOU CAN JUST KEEP ORDERING FOOD FOREVER.

I'm hoping that they get a liquor licence soon, because I really want to take my friends there. I don't want to suggest that they are all raging alcoholics (OK, I do, but let's pretend I dont), but I think it's just the perfect place for a very casual weekend dinner. It's at 76 Chapel Street (down the Windsor end) and you can see other people getting excited about it here.

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